Small Business Revival? Psst...whateva...

One of the guys in our Men's Small Group Bible Study just moved here from San Antonio two months ago. He's been warming up to Houston. What he likes most about it is the amount of places we can go to eat. Houston never lacks in that department. He's always asking us to find different restaurants that he hasn't been, so we can have our study there. His prompting has also beckoned me to do the same around my office during the work week. I have my "usuals", but occassionally - time permitting - I will break out and find something different.

Long story short - I happen upon this great place called Camille's Sidewalk Cafe while doing some mid-day banking. They have awesome, spicy wraps. I also love their Apple Walnut Tuna sandwhich. I imagined it to be my great little, small, "Ma and Pop" place that I can support.

I schedule a lunch with a few of my buds yesterday and to give them directions I type in the shop's name under Google Maps. There are 4 in Houston alone!! Ugh, shattered dreams!!

I come to find out that this is some big chain across the US and even more shops internationally.
http://www.camillescafe.com/index.cfm?id=3

If it wasn't for the great menu, and even better Tropical Tea, I would never go back...

Seriously. You should try it!

"Seriously"

The other day I was listening to a Podcast from one of my favorite pastors, Perry Noble. This guy is my hero!! The manliest, funniest, straight-forward pastor I've ever heard. He was speaking about the relationships between men and women; which is part of his "Beautiful" series. The focus of his message was from Proverbs 31:10 and how this verse pertains to women in the church. There was a little tidbit about single guys as well - pretty dern funny.

During his talks, one of his comments hit me funny. I never thought that the point he made was such a big issue for me, but it turned my thinking. It's not so much what I want, but what I don't want in my relationships - with a potential mate or friendships.

The most interesting point, to me, came just before the 22:00min. mark on the Podcast. For those that are interested in this, tune into New Spring Church in Anderson, SC for the talk given on October 26th, 2008.

Note: the website is in repair, so I can't forward the link at this time. Check out iTunes: Search: New Spring Church.

"BO" can be very offensive!

I'll be honest, I have been on the fence for a while now about who I will vote for. I have issues with both sides. Really, I don't like either candidate. So, it now becomes a matter of the "lesser of two evils", if you will.

That was until I read this article:
http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/viewarticle.php?selectedarticle=2008.10.14_George_Robert_Obama's%20Abortion%20Extremism_.xml

When it comes to moral issues, there is no gray. I never knew the full extent of how completely disgusting having "BO" in office could be. I'm voting McCain!

Come fly the "friendly" skies...

Someone at work asked an intriguing question today.

"If you were to get on a plane today and the captain was to announce that there was a 99.9% chance that the plane would not land safely, would you stay on the plane?"

We went further to discuss what percentage people would be comfortable with. The votes didn't drop below 80%.

What percentage would you be willing to risk?

Happy Tube Top Day

I got an e-card today wishing me a Happy Tube Top Day. Apparently October 8th celebrates this shoulderless, sleeveless, unpleasant, accidental fashion statement that has not died since its conception in the late 1970's.

I think Reel Big Fish shares my sentiments all too well in their song, "Ban the Tube Top".

Miss Kitty must have gotten paid BIG to sport this dishrag...

You CANNOT be serious...

I got an email from a co-worker about plastics and 'greening' our earth. While reading the article I found a link that drew my attention, and from there I was taken to a chinzy (sp?) forum where I saw a link about "Christian Dating Advice". I thought, "this will be good", especially because it came from a group of Baptists. (Do you sense the sarcasm?)

Check this out. I was ROTF when I was done reading this. Hope you aren't too scarred while reading it...just a warning.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

If you have grown up in a Christian home that believes in the Holy Bible, then most certainly, you have limited yourself to chaperoned dating until the age of 21. If you are truly saved, it is not until your 21st birthday, that the thought of dating someone without adult supervision would even enter your mind.

These tips are for Christian men, age 21 or older. If you are truly saved, you are looking for a woman who will serve you and who loves the Lord as much as you do. You are looking for a woman who has kept herself pure for her future husband and for the Lord Jesus Christ. You are looking for a woman who knows how to cook and sew, a woman who can keep house. You are looking for a woman who will not squander your income or lean toward gossip. You are looking for a woman who will submit and obey, for there is no other way for a marriage to honor God without following the strict Biblical principles that God has laid out for us in the Bible.

If you have found such a creature and she is not bobbed of hair, nor wont for excess in make-up or lewd attire, then you must prepare yourself for a first date. Here are a few tips to get you prepared for your first date.

GODLY SECRETS TO DATING SUCCESS
1. COMB YOUR HAIR
Head lice are very common among Christian men, especially Pentecostals. Although it is a normal and natural blessing from God to have head lice, you should certainly wash your hair before your date if only for the reason to avoid the temptation of putting your arm around the young lady while lifting to scratch your head.

2. PRAY
Spend the day before your date with at least 6-hours of solitary prayer in a prayer-closet or a confined area. Ask the Lord to guide your words and actions. Ask Jesus to help you control your lust and pray that you will have a nightly emission before the date, thus making it easier for your carnal mind to operate on a level that is strictly spiritual. Do not masturbate in your prayer-closet unless you are thinking about Jesus. Click here for more detailed spiritual guidance on masturbation.

3. PURCHASE A RING
Visit a jewelry store and purchase a diamond ring. For the Christian man, every date is a potential mate. If she is the right gal, you will want to pop the question as soon as possible. It is always handy to have the engagement ring available.

4. RECITE VERSES
When you are on the date, use awkward moments of silence to quote scripture, or sing a favorite hymn. All women are impressed with such things. If she is not woo'd by this, it is a sign that she might be possessed by a demon. Take her to your church and drop her off by the back gate with a note to the pastor taped to her forehead. Be sure to secure her to a tree or post using chains or rope so that she won't get away during the night.

5. SPRUCE UP!
Wear Christian cologne. The only Christian cologne available is "Betty Bowers' The Essence Of Christian Men." If you do not have any Christian cologne, rub your face in a Bible until you smell like the pages.

6. TAKE HER TO VISIT GOD
The best place for a first date is church. Oh, how impressed your sweetheart will be when she finds out you are taking her to Sunday evening services! Then, a romantic dinner at Denny's!

7. GRILL HER FAITH
Use the time at the restaurant to find out if your sweetheart is really saved. Question her salvation at least 15 times. Make sure she knows the exact day and hour (and preferably the exact minute) she met Jesus.

8. KEEP THE PASSION SUPPRESSED
If the bandage work on your penis fails in the slightest bit, excuse yourself for the men's room and re-adjust the harnessing.

9. PRACTICE YOUR LINES
Some Christian phrases that will help you "woo" the lesser sex are, "I'm almost as crazy about you as I am about Jesus," "Your long hair is the glory of your humility (I Corinthians 11: 11-15)," and "God broke the mold when he made your sweet face."

10. SQUELCH YOUR PASSION
If you have not had a nightly emission before your date, make certain that you take extra precaution. Use an ace bandage or knitting yarn to tie your penis back against your stomach or underneath your hiney. If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of - otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

11. AVOID TOUCHING!
Make certain that there is no personal contact (PC) on this first date. Even if she has said "yes" to marriage, it is highly recommended that you refrain from even holding hands for at least two years until the courtship is over and you are whisked away on your honeymoon!

Follow these dating tips for Christian men and you are sure to find a life partner that is suitable, submissive, and steadfast.

The art of attraction...

The other night the topic of pick up lines came up. Of course the usual came out:

*Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
*(checking the tag on the other persons' shirt) Just wanted to see where in heaven you were made.
*How you doin'?

Then we blanked. No one could come up with another line. Seriously, is that all the better we can get? Have we lost complete track of the art of "picking someone up"?

If anyone's got some lines - would LOVE to hear them.

Paraphrased.

What friends are friends? I cannot know.
Those that you make in prison are not on the outside.
Those you make while drunk are not while sober.
Those you make while rich are not while poor.
I'm scared the sad fact is that when it comes down to it;
All friends are a convenience of the moment.
Scared I say because I have always prayed, thought and felt that it was otherwise.

There are good people, yes. There is compassion, charity, selflessness, and help. But all of it is fleeting and then it's just me, and God.

Tri again?

Maria Edgeworth says it better than most:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.

There is plenty to do in life- there is just very little that I, personally, get to do - because of life. You enjoy the ride, though, and really enjoy the things you want to do.

Last weekend I was able to head up to Shreveport, LA with Lisa and Jared for a Sprint Triathlon called River Cities Triathlon. It was such a fun trip. My cheeks are still sore from the laughter - and biking. It's amazing how time away can really recharge you in ways you didn't expect it to. 4 states down, 46 to go - there is just so much that I want to do...I'm like a kid in a candy shop searching for my next race!!

If anyone wants to join me for a 3 mile swim, please let me know...you'll need a wetsuit, though.

Nixon: Part Duex

Just before lunch I got a IC call from our head assistant. She asked me to come to her desk. I have very good repoir with her, so I was going to say something quip to her as I rounded to her area. As I turn the corner there are two cops along with this woman and another colleague. I heard one one of my co-workers explain to the cop, "...no, he doesn't have a goatee".

Apparently one of our Admins was ripped off today, in the office. Her desk is right next to one of the Principals and the kitchen door. You would think this would be the last place for someone to go snooping around.

I found out that this guy had my same stature, similar haircut (reddish in nature), no facial hair, and had messed up teeth. So, he's the same, but not the same...

So, everyone at work now walks by me calling me "crook"...Nice!..."I am not a Crook"

Where to get the campaign money...

I would vote for me...

I, also, would like to thank Gram's for sporting the trusty old tramp stamp in my favor!

http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=99IMF16Ayk33zmU158m0.

2'ish minutes of fame

Last weekend I was able to go home and see the family for a reunion. It was one of the most incredible trips that I've taken. We had an uncle come back from the Phillipines working contract for the military. My cousin came back from Germany before being shipped to Romania, and then Honduras. My other cousin and her husband brought their 4 and 6 year old. I hadn't met the kids yet. They are awesome! There was 28 of us at the cabin. We only missed one of the cousins from Minnesota. Otherwise, the whole Turner clan got together. Even my brother made it back from Alaska.

He's quite the rolling stone! He Rocks My Face Off. (I have the greatest brothers! Both of them Rock My Face Off!!) So, when we got a chance, my brother showed me some of his pictures from being in Alaska. He is currently working with a white-water rafting company. He rows a group down the water 2-3 times a day. Play and working out for your job in a beautiful place - what a gig.

It is incredible up there. Despite the 12 minutes of "sundown" they experienced on June 21st, I could live there. Amazing sites. Amazing adventures. Salmon galore! I can only imagine the hunting!

Between white-water runs he decided to pull a prank on some people. He had a friend get his camera and utilize the movie recorder function to capture the whole thing. (I will soon, hopefully, have the movie to share). He dressed up in a bear suit. Seriously, the whole thing was awesome. He gets on the river side and walks like a bear. He times it perfectly for when the next group comes down the river. It's a group of Japanese vacationers. As they pass, they whip out their tele-photo lenses and start snapping pictures. They thought he was a bear!! Awesome!! But what was even better was when, on the video, you see him stand up and start dancing like their is no tomorrow. The Sprinkler. Air Guitar. Every 80's move you've ever thought about. It was HA-LARIOUS! I about died!

Family is good for the soul! I haven't laughed like I did that weekend in a long, long time! Cherish your loved ones!

The Other, Other White Meat

They say architects are supposed to be very observant of their surroundings. We design spaces. Therefore, we should be attune to what others have designed. There is a reasoning behind all that we do - and sometimes the answer is, "it's just cool!"

So, today I'm at A&E Graphics picking up some consultant prints that we need ASAP. It was either me or the (maybe) 90lbs. girl that was there. Considering the weight of the drawings being around 50lbs, it was better for me to go.

Usually the drawings are right up front waiting to be picked up. However, I got there a little quicker than they expected. I was offered a Coke and pointed towards the magazines. I really appreciated that. I get my Coke, start reading the paper, then hear this jingling noise next to me. I look down to see this black cat staring right at me. If I was a screamer, I would have screamed. It freaked me out. I almost beat it with the newspaper I had in my hand.

One of the girls at the desk chuckled at me and murmered, "He finally woke up." Apparently he had been sitting on the midnight blue chair next to me while I was concentrating on the paper selection. Never saw him.

Seriously, they have a cat in their store? Note to A&E: Pick a mascot instead...

WWGB

Just before one of our co-workers left because of green-card and maternity issues, this girl created some issues on our plan. She moved some columns in our building because the casework wouldn't fit. This is understandable at the beginning of the job - just not a week before submitting to the owner!! ---AND, she didn't discuss this with the structural engineer!! All bad things.

The project manager came over to our group that is picking up her slack and said, "I don't care if Cynthia (Project Lead), John (Principal) or Jesus Christ himself tells you to move a column. You will not move them."

Ummm, k - not messing with that one...

I thought a little further after the conversation about what kind of architecture would be in heaven. WWGB: What would God build? If God gave me an option for choosing countertops, just for fun, I would pick these specifications:

Set at 31.6"High in proportion with my height
Countertop comprised of air and lightning storms
Built in Fruit basket allowing me to select ANY exotic fruit at any time of the day
- and -
Vanilla-flavored (Yeah, you can lick the countertop like Willy Wonka Wallpaper)

What would you want to design?!

If I only had a name...

My new girl just arrived today via Stork (AKA: Fed Ex). She is beautiful!! - nay - GORGEOUS!!

I immediately ripped open the packaging so I could play. I soon realized that I had left my wallet at home today, therefore there were no picks to play with. I usually carry two - one hard - one soft - in my wallet for such random occassions. Stink.

The action is FAST - much faster than what I had played before. This is going to be a blast! The thing is though, I'm now at a loss for what to name her. The original name that I had planned to call her does not apply.

She is definitely my new favorite electric guitar though! Mr. Rogers - Yes, she is all black &... No, as you can see, it is not a Mail-Order Bride.

Killer Bike Ride

While the majority of the world was sleeping in this weekend, I was biking up in NW Houston with an awesome friend enjoying the workout and scenery. The ride was pretty smoothe. Traffic was at a low. The weather was actually decent. Seeing longhorns slightly silhouetted against the morning sun and green grass was amazing. (I'll spare my Aggie-ism's for now)

I just feel bad for this friend of mine who drafted behind me at the beginning of the ride for the simple fact that amid the amazing scenery and beauty of God, the view was being obstructed by some white dude with a ghetto booty.

I'm so sorry friend!

Just a word...

I love birthdays. Let me clarify: I love Birth-weeks!

Getting older ROCKS!! Yeah, our bodies are failing because of age, but what a joy to celebrate being alive. The thing that makes our birthdays so much more significant than any other day, pending the obvious traditional celebrations, is that it's a benchmark. It's a stake in this short time on Earth where we get to reflect on our God-given ability to breathe, to love, to worship.

We are held together by God's design to allow us to live. Because God is willing me to live, I live. Just a word from his lips and I can be removed from this Earth.

Just as I celebrated my life on Sunday, this day also marked the passing of a dear, family friend. While playing doubles-tennis with my Dad, he had a fatal heart-attack in my Dad's arms.

I heard the news immediately while talking to my mom on the phone after she had beeped over from call-waiting. I then immediately wrote this man's children, friends who are my age, and scripted a prayer to them.

The oldest son, who was a year ahead of me in school, is a very good friend. He wrote me a response back a day later saying, in part, "Remember that beauty comes from ashes". I was floored! This was one of the studliest responses I have ever heard in my life to any life situation, more or less, your father passing away.

I pray that my response would be the same if this were to happen to me. Be praying for my friend's mom and sisters.

Christian Guys and Acoustic Guitars

I was talking to a friend the other day about playing guitar. He said that he had started a few years ago, but never kept going after learning only a few chords. I lamented with him how hard it can be to push pass all the plateaus. I hope to have encouraged him to pick it back up.

He asked me what got me into playing guitars to begin with; I told him the absolute truth. I wanted chicks to dig me. Now, understand that I was 15 when I started playing. My motivation then was, well, typical teenager. A Christian guy and an acoustic guitar was THE thing. Girls flocked to "that guy" like the crazy birds at Uptown Park Cafe Express scoping an abandoned plate of food.

I've noticed now that I'm older that chicks don't dig guys that play guitar nearly as much. I have noticed though that guys that may not play as well as others get more attention when they play cheesy pop songs by guys like Justin Timberlake, N*Sync, Go-Go Girls, etc...

This still baffles me to this day how this happens. They play the simple three chords and you swoon - WHAT!??!?!!!?

Also, I've never gotten a girl because of my guitar playing, oh well. ;)

I refuse to sell out!

Single Father

One of my passions is playing guitar. Truthfully, it's my cave time - or "family time". I get to spend this time with my "girls". Now, any man that really enjoys a 'possession', he typically gives it a female's name. A car or truck for example. Or, he will simply refer to this item as "she" or "her" - which means, he cares for it, but the name is not necessary.

I have named my first electric guitar "Trudy". She is strong, faithful, ages very well, and 'speaks' with great precision. My acoustic has been named "Gracie". She is also very faithful, well-polished in spots, adaptive, and has a sweet, sweet 'voice".

My family of two is now two-and-a-half. I'm a single, semi-suburban, middle-class stereotypical male... Yes, I got a "bun in the oven"!! She should be here in about two to three weeks - just after my birthday, but close enough... I have ideas for a name, but won't know until I've seen her with my own eyes.

If any of you has an opinion, I would love to hear what you think I should call her.

Jesus, Dating and Baseball?!?

I was joking with a friend the other night during conversation that people in the church tend to 'over-spiritualize' everyday conversations. We both agree that everything comes back to Christ, yet sometimes talking about 'yesterday's Astros game' with each other is also acceptable conversation without seeing how it applies to Jesus Christ. (Sometimes we should wait for God to open the door and for us to not 'kick it open')

We then proceeded to assimilate what it may look like to overspiritualize Godly relationships in relation to baseball. The gist of the conversation revolved around this assessment (a few points added after conversation):
First Base: Date #1
Second Base: Reading the Word Together
Third Base: Praying Together
RBI: Getting engaged
Home Run: Marriage

The conversation had was much more comical, yet I'm curious if persons reading would agree with our very well, thought-out assessment.

Over the Top!

I believe that the janitorial staff at our office must be performing a small scale test on us. As of last week, one of the two rolls of toilet paper in the restroom have alternated from being 'over the top' to 'underneath'. In testing this, it seems to me that they would only have to change one more 'popular' roll of TP more than the other, thus saving some time.

I have noticed this because I'm an "over the top" kinda guy. I will not pull "underneath", if at all possible. If I'm in your home and it is "underneath", I will more than likely flip it over.

What has been vaguely interesting is to notice the sheer volume of paper that has been used on the "over the top" roll compared to the other. Apparently my male co-workers are in agreement with me.

This conversation may be a little "over the top", but I'm sure a lot of you share my sentiments that "over the top" is better.

(Surely no one will admit to this on a blog...)

At least we have toilet paper - could you imagine this?

Who I know...

"It's not what you know, it's who you know."



We've all heard it before. Well, I've just applied it to my life again in a very obvious, somewhat-selfish way. I know the Financial CPA at HEB. I met him a few weeks ago. I got his card after talking the business a little with him, as my neighbor at home was a grocery store owner.



I unashamedly shared with him my affinity for Leinenkugel's Beer, or "Leinie's". This Fifth generation brewer, based in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, has the best Micro-brew that ever came out of the Midwest.



I just sent him an email asking for a "smorgesboard" (sp) of ice-cold treats to be put on the shelf. Not just for me, but all the other Midwesterners out there in Tejas. And, to save me a second trip to Kroger (gasp).


Not only is he connected; he has given me the option to select which beers I want at what store. I found my new best friend!!

The Midwest will have a silent take-over! Pretty soon cheese curds will be in the mini-fridges next to the magazines instead of Cokes.


The line-up consists of:


Honeyweiss











Leinies Red













Sunset Wheat














Berryweiss

Fine Eats and Great Treats

This weekend my parents were in town from Wisconsin. My Dad was at a healthcare conference in San Antonio during the week with Mom as his guest. After the conference ended on Friday my parents drove over in a rental and met me at my office where I got to introduce them to all my co-workers and bosses.

Afterwards, we met my Aunt and Uncle for dinner at The Grove. The restaurant is located in Houston's new Discovery Green Park project across from the George R. Brown Convention Center. My uncle was the Project Manager on the project, so we got to hear all the details of how it was constructed. Very cool. A lot of work and detail has gone into this project. Because of my uncle's relationships with the people at the park, our meal was comped. Had we been regular guests at the restaurant, I would have gladly paid for every penny of what the meal cost, especially the ginger ice cream. Save your nickels and dimes. It is a little pricey, but very well done. I will say though, use the restroom before you get to the restaurant because the bathroom decor is hideous. The colors consist of "Log Cabin Brown" paint and "Tourquoise" glazed tiles and a plaster, deer mount over the sinks - at least in the men's.

On Saturday afternoon I had some friends come over to meet my parents and enjoy a sit-down meal of steaks, chicken, potatoes, snap beans, and a home-made cake.

On Sunday, Mother's Day, we ate at Gravitas located on Taft Street, 2 blocks south of Allen Parkway. We had a 3-course meal. We partook in their signature bread and dipping spices. Bottomless Mamosas. What I had...First Course: Lemon oil tomato soup chilled. Second Course: Fennel-crusted salmon with roasted fennel underneath, snow peas and potato pasta. Final Course: Lemon pistacio icecream and bread pudding.

This weekend was awesome! Made my Mom cry happy tears...twice. Saw family, extended family and friends. Ate very, very well.

Summit Tubing Trip: T-minus - 30 days

Gun Control

The inaugural post:



Just about every night I'm conscious of charging my phone. The charger is next to night stand, therefore my phone is very accessible to me. If a family member or friend were ever to call me in the middle of the night I would be able to answer their call in a relatively short amount of time - once I stopped "hitting the snooze" on the phone.



One night I had decided to not plug in the phone after a conversation with a good friend. When finished talking, I remembered tossing the phone towards my wallet, which is on the floor next to my shoes. Soon after doing this, I fall into a deep sleep.



Come 3:50am I'm suddenly woken by the need to use the restroom. I roll out of bed all but half-conscious, and am suddently startled. I see this light flash under my bedroom door. What was that? My immediate reaction was to protect myself against the danger.



Fight of Flight: I fight.



I think to myself, self "Your hunting knife is across the room". "Your pocket knife is on the bookshelf". "Hatchet, don't bother". Ahh, "Your shotgun (in it's locked case) is two steps away in the closet. Get it. Protect thyself." This is all within a 0.2 second time frame. Smart guy...



Until I realize that it is my phone that i tossed on ground reminding me that it's still works by flashing it's little green light. Relief and embarrassment have never been this close to each other than in this moment.



I believe in gun control. I have a gun, and I will control you, crook, if you come in my house and surprise me.



My phone since 'the incident' has made it strategically each night to my night stand.



(*Disclaimer: Hotel del Altoid is a very safe place to stay if you ever need a place to crash. ...my friends are never going to want to come over again)